I had arranged to meet Ben at the Rangiora Car Show today, but he didn't show up (no surprises there then).
I was there with Brent and Bryce, and Bryce seemed to notice that Brent and I were a bit cuddly. We had leftovers for lunch at Brent's and then Bryce and I went over to his place to watch movies while Brent stayed home to tidy up house for another party that night.
We watched Meet Joe Black, which made us a bit late to pick up Steve and Leon for the party. This time, it was all gays, and Bryce was obviously uncomfortable. I noticed Steve kissing him on the verandah, with leon right there, but I didn't really understand what was going on, I was playing hostess again. Everyone was saying that Brent and I made a cute couple, and Bryce got very upset. He followed me to Brent's bedroom and I ended up telling him that Brent and I were together.
Later, we all piled into cars and went clubbing. Brent and I danced together but soon wanted to go, and so we left early and went back to his place and slept together again. Bryce told me the next day that he'd stayed the night at Steve and Leon's.
"Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?"
Looking back (Nov 2009), I realise that I really didn't handle this particularly well. Of course, I've felt guilty about the way I handled the Bryce/Brent situation for years, but that night's never been particularly clear to me until now.
ReplyDeleteI'd only been back a couple of days from a big holiday around the South Island with Bryce, a holiday that he'd spent a lot more on than I had, where we slept together every night and did everything together just like we always had - he probably thought we were getting back together. And then I don't even notice him enough when we're back to tell him what's going on with Brent - he finds out from other people. Bad enough that at that party he's thrust into the middle of a group of gay guys he doesn't really know, who have very different views on love and sex to his own, but I basically abandon him. It only occurred to me recently that Steve and Leon were probably consoling him that night, being much better to him than I was being, and that he probably slept with them after I'd taken off with Brent.