The Roman philosopher Seneca wrote
I will not relinquish old age if it leaves my better part intact. But if it begins to shake my mind, if it destroys my faculties one by one, if it leaves me not life but breath, I will depart from the putrid or the tottering edifice. If I know that I must suffer without hope or relief I will depart not through fear of the pain itself but because it prevents all for which I would live.
Anne Langbein was my friend. She was witty, poetic, wise, and affectionate; she made the BEST shortbread in the world, had a beautiful rose garden and a conservatory full of healthy, verdant tropical plants of a thousand shades. She had two lovely and devoted grown daughters who were both doing well in their personal and professional lives, and who each had great kids who knew that they were loved. Anne was a potter, and made some gorgeous bowls and urns. She gave me one, and it's one of my most precious possessions.
I met Anne when I was working as a care-giver for Presbyterian Support Services in Wellington. For some clients I helped with personal care such as showering, dressing, preparing and helping with dinner, for others I did housework, grocery shopping and the like. Anne was one of the latter, I collected her groceries every week, did the ironing, swept and mopped the floors, did the dishes and cleaned the bathroom. She was a hard task-master, she was so fussy about me getting the ironing right, making me redo the sheets, towels and handkerchiefs over and over again til I had them perfect, and I did it without so much as a groan even though I thought ironing them as a bit silly, I would have done anything for her.
Anne had Motor Neuron Disease, and couldn't do these things for herself anymore. I pray that no one reading this ever gets Motor Neuron, or anything similar, it was horrible to see her slowly losing the ability to write, to water her plants, to speak, even to swallow. She was so distressed at having to give up her gardening and pottery, it broke my heart. I'm in tears writing this now, she was so brave, and so resolutely cheerful for the sake of the people around her. She'll always be one of my personal heroes, I'll always remember her and I'll always be grateful for the time I had with her.
Anne was tortured by the disease, as everything she loved doing slipped away from her, and she had to rely on others for even the most basic things like using the toilet, lifting a glass of water to her mouth and closing her mouth so that she could swallow, after having been fiercely independent and self-sacrificing her whole life. She tried to commit suicide several times but was physically unable to do it, she asked her daughters to help her when it became to much to bear, but of course they couldn't because of the legal repercussions and the psychological trauma this would bring, and Anne knew this and felt utterly wretched that she'd put them in that position. Eventually, mercifully, she died unaided, but she and her family went through years of hell first, needlessly, because our society prohibits assisted suicide and treats as criminals those who out of compassion help others to die.
For the funeral, Anne's family made all of the dishes that she was known for, faithfully following her carefully handwritten recipes, the pride of place going to the shortbread, which no one else could ever make exactly right. They each stood up that sunny afternoon in her beautifully-tended rose garden and talked about how she used to make them laugh, reciting her funny little housework rhymes and her witticisms, sharing their most treasured memories of an absolutely wonderful and unique woman, a woman who went out of her way to help others, who never wanted to be a burden on anyone, who made everyone she met feel special. I couldn't help thinking that even though she couldn't say a word by the end, she let us see her soul. I have never felt as honoured to be part of someone's life.
I miss you, Anne. Thank you for everything you did, for being strong, for caring so much. I wish it had been easier for you.
Kill a fly in Spring
And you've done a splendid thing,
Kill one in July
And you've only killed one fly.
- Anne
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quotes. Show all posts
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Nihilism -- CHAFF 2008
I found a quote on the net somewhere that said nihilism is where you go when you can’t find anything to believe in.
According to Wikipedia it’s “the view that the world, and especially human existence, is without meaning, purpose, comprehensible truth, or essential value.” It’s often defined as belief in nothing, but from what I’ve read that’s not entirely true... we should say faith in nothing to be more accurate. Faith is a firm belief in something where there isn’t or can’t be any supporting evidence. Nihilists see faith as dangerous because when we’re relying on faith we aren’t using our faculties of common sense, reason and critical analysis. According to Nietzsche (you know him – the “God is dead” guy – life of the party), faith is simply “not wanting to know.”
Not wanting to know? Crazy, right? Well, yeah. But understandable maybe. Who wants to know anyway?? It’s a big scary world out there, it’s hard to understand sometimes, so of course most of us would rather just accept on faith whatever sounds like a fair explanation. It gets exhausting asking questions all the time and never having any certainty, and realistically, nobody’s going to be able to think through absolutely EVERY issue and read EVERY book. Especially in the modern Western nations. I’m not really surprised that in the most technologically advanced and modernized societies, like the USA, Australia and New Zealand, so many people believe in a cosmic zombie who communicates with them each individually by means of telepathy... our lives are a lot more sped up and full of stress and hassle in comparison to the rest of the world. We just don’t have the time to think things through.
Sometimes I think that if any of us could see how complicated the world really is it would be enough to drive us mad. But what the nihilists are getting at is that though it’s comforting to just think we know the answers without having to ask the questions, we’re fooling ourselves, and making things worse for ourselves and others in doing so. How? Well, let’s just pull a random example out of our collective arse, shall we? AIDS is killing thousands of people every day, and causes immeasurable human suffering, all around the world but especially in poorest nations. People get AIDS by becoming infected with HIV, most often through transmission of sexual fluids, and this can be prevented by using condoms during sex. There’s more to it than that, but that’s good enough for our purposes. We could fix the problem and alleviate a lot of the suffering if people wore the damn condoms, but faith has stuck its beak in and convinced a whole lot of those people that the father of the aforementioned cosmic zombie, who lives up in the sky and watches everything they do (the dirty perve) will throw them in a lake of fire to burn forever if they wear condoms when they fuck. And other well-meaning faithful people, mindful of the imperilled souls of those people in the populations where HIV is rampant, are kindly puncturing the condom packets before the poor sods even get them, just to be sure that no latex stands between souls and salvation. Faith makes us do dumb things, so nihilism begins to look like an attractive alternative. It’s the rejection of any belief that relies on faith, whether religious or secular.
Another defining characteristic of nihilism is the rejection of the idea that things have a final purpose. Nihilists believe everything is random, that there is no preordained final destination or revelation. In other words, you’re not going to heaven. It doesn’t exist and what’s more, it’s pointless to live your life in some sort of preparation for it. So go on, masturbate, get drunk, call your mother a herpes-riddled crack-whore... it doesn’t matter. You won’t get punished for it in the hereafter (though your mum might burn all your stuff and kick you out on the street). In a nutshell, nihilists reject the teleological arguments offered by most religions. Teleology is the idea that the universe functions a bit like a machine according to some sort of god-given plan or design, and it’s not restricted to the world of religion either. A common, almost sacred belief among people in the secular West is that you and your significant other were ‘made for each other,’ or if you haven’t got one at the moment, that she or he is out there somewhere waiting for you, that it’s ‘meant to be.’ Well the nihilists have got news for you... there was nothing inevitable about you finding that one particular person, there was no plan, no destiny, it was all just chance, and you only think it’s something magical and special because it feels nice, but you fail to see that you probably would have felt the same about almost anyone else. They might remind you ever so politely (or more likely, somewhat sharply) that everyone else is feeling something pretty similar for their own special-someone, you’re just too blind to see it, so shut the fuck up. Nihilists also reject Marxism, Buddhism, and any other set of beliefs that rely on teleology. There is no destiny, there can be no progress.
Nihilism is virtually synonymous with scepticism. There are two main branches: social or existential nihilism, and political nihilism. Let’s start with the existential variety. It’s passive, influenced by eastern philosophy and mysticism, and concerns itself primarily with isolation, human suffering and the futility and hopelessness of existence. It’s bloody depressing. Most people, when you mention nihilism, will think this is what you mean. In the face of all the meaninglessness and randomness, the only coping mechanism is detachment – just stop giving a shit. Don’t do anything for anyone, don’t bother with worthy causes, just don’t care, because ultimately it’s a waste of time.
Now, don’t confuse existential nihilism with depression, though that certainly follows on from it a lot of the time. Personally I’m inclined toward depression when I’m feeling worthless. When I ask someone out or let them know I’m interested and they say “Fuck no, I need space, I’m not ready for a relationship just now, you’re sweet and everything, let’s just be friends, STOP STALKING ME!!!”, I usually take it to me mean that I’m not tall enough, attractive enough, smart enough etc, and I inevitably begin saying to myself: “What’s the point in trying anyway, I may as well stay in my room, give up my hopes and get used to being by myself.” But kids, that’s not quite full blown existential nihilism, because I’m not saying that there’s no point in anyone trying to get laid, only that there’s no point in me trying. Important difference. Even at my most whiny and self-loathing, I would still agree that most people can and should try to find happiness in the whole love and romance thingy.
Political nihilism, the other main branch of nihilism, is active, revolutionary and at once destructive and creative. It’s about social structures and authority. Political nihilism states that things are in such a bad state that the only real option left to us is to smash them up, and whether or not we can rebuild we will at least have done some good. Being a political nihilist is about being in the here and now... rejecting all religious and philosophical debate and all the metaphysical circular reasoning that it ultimately leads to. It’s about challenging all the assumptions we base our values on, even equality and justice. There’s no future goal that we’re aiming for, no reformed society that’s more tolerant or diverse or equitable or prosperous, or at least no goal that’s more important than the present. It’s about realising there’s no life but this one, and making the most of it. It’s about taking responsibility..... if there’s no higher power then your success or failure is up to you, and you alone. Another nihilism quote I found sums it up nicely... “Each human life has the potential, but unless one strives to be a god, they are only a worm.” We can do anything... it’s up to us whether we repeat the patterns of our forbears, killing and subjugating each other for material gain and dominance and letting our masters profit at our expense, or whether we control our lives and reap the benefits for ourselves.
It’s true that nihilism, like anarchism, is usually equated with violence and terrorism, and there’s certainly historical justification. Nihilists generally reckon that violence is not inherent in their philosophies, but I’m inclined to think that if nihilism is your philosophy you’re more likely to be aggressive. Nihilists say there is nothing above man, there is no objective moral, ethical reality, but is that really the case? The argument can be made that we carry our moral absolutes with us, encoded into our brains. I think it’s genetic, we’ve survived as a species because we know instinctively how to interact with each other. We’re a social species, we have survived because we can cooperate, and we know, each of us, how to do this, how to avoid conflict. Something in our brains, other than fear of repercussions, tells us a behaviour is wrong. Why else, for instance, would all these religions around the world have come up with such basic moral tenets as don’t kill each other? Don’t torture people for fun?? And remember to put the trash out???
Just because there’s no ultimate point to anything, and even though nothing I actually accomplish is going to last forever, that doesn’t mean there’s no sense in doing it anyway, does it? In fact, doesn’t that make human endeavour a more precious and amazing thing? Think about it, out of all the randomness, out of all the meaninglessness, we are able to create something that has meaning for ourselves and others. That meaning might be quite arbitrary, we each might see the same thing quite differently, but isn’t that kind of beautiful in itself? There might not be any reason, in the big scheme of things, for me to get out there and make a noise about discrimination, pollution or the suffering of others, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. It will mean something to me, I’ll be taking control, making something out of the nothingness, making the world what I want it to be. And maybe, just maybe, someone else will see the world the way I do.
And that’s meaning enough for me.
Danny Rudd
According to Wikipedia it’s “the view that the world, and especially human existence, is without meaning, purpose, comprehensible truth, or essential value.” It’s often defined as belief in nothing, but from what I’ve read that’s not entirely true... we should say faith in nothing to be more accurate. Faith is a firm belief in something where there isn’t or can’t be any supporting evidence. Nihilists see faith as dangerous because when we’re relying on faith we aren’t using our faculties of common sense, reason and critical analysis. According to Nietzsche (you know him – the “God is dead” guy – life of the party), faith is simply “not wanting to know.”
Not wanting to know? Crazy, right? Well, yeah. But understandable maybe. Who wants to know anyway?? It’s a big scary world out there, it’s hard to understand sometimes, so of course most of us would rather just accept on faith whatever sounds like a fair explanation. It gets exhausting asking questions all the time and never having any certainty, and realistically, nobody’s going to be able to think through absolutely EVERY issue and read EVERY book. Especially in the modern Western nations. I’m not really surprised that in the most technologically advanced and modernized societies, like the USA, Australia and New Zealand, so many people believe in a cosmic zombie who communicates with them each individually by means of telepathy... our lives are a lot more sped up and full of stress and hassle in comparison to the rest of the world. We just don’t have the time to think things through.
Sometimes I think that if any of us could see how complicated the world really is it would be enough to drive us mad. But what the nihilists are getting at is that though it’s comforting to just think we know the answers without having to ask the questions, we’re fooling ourselves, and making things worse for ourselves and others in doing so. How? Well, let’s just pull a random example out of our collective arse, shall we? AIDS is killing thousands of people every day, and causes immeasurable human suffering, all around the world but especially in poorest nations. People get AIDS by becoming infected with HIV, most often through transmission of sexual fluids, and this can be prevented by using condoms during sex. There’s more to it than that, but that’s good enough for our purposes. We could fix the problem and alleviate a lot of the suffering if people wore the damn condoms, but faith has stuck its beak in and convinced a whole lot of those people that the father of the aforementioned cosmic zombie, who lives up in the sky and watches everything they do (the dirty perve) will throw them in a lake of fire to burn forever if they wear condoms when they fuck. And other well-meaning faithful people, mindful of the imperilled souls of those people in the populations where HIV is rampant, are kindly puncturing the condom packets before the poor sods even get them, just to be sure that no latex stands between souls and salvation. Faith makes us do dumb things, so nihilism begins to look like an attractive alternative. It’s the rejection of any belief that relies on faith, whether religious or secular.
Another defining characteristic of nihilism is the rejection of the idea that things have a final purpose. Nihilists believe everything is random, that there is no preordained final destination or revelation. In other words, you’re not going to heaven. It doesn’t exist and what’s more, it’s pointless to live your life in some sort of preparation for it. So go on, masturbate, get drunk, call your mother a herpes-riddled crack-whore... it doesn’t matter. You won’t get punished for it in the hereafter (though your mum might burn all your stuff and kick you out on the street). In a nutshell, nihilists reject the teleological arguments offered by most religions. Teleology is the idea that the universe functions a bit like a machine according to some sort of god-given plan or design, and it’s not restricted to the world of religion either. A common, almost sacred belief among people in the secular West is that you and your significant other were ‘made for each other,’ or if you haven’t got one at the moment, that she or he is out there somewhere waiting for you, that it’s ‘meant to be.’ Well the nihilists have got news for you... there was nothing inevitable about you finding that one particular person, there was no plan, no destiny, it was all just chance, and you only think it’s something magical and special because it feels nice, but you fail to see that you probably would have felt the same about almost anyone else. They might remind you ever so politely (or more likely, somewhat sharply) that everyone else is feeling something pretty similar for their own special-someone, you’re just too blind to see it, so shut the fuck up. Nihilists also reject Marxism, Buddhism, and any other set of beliefs that rely on teleology. There is no destiny, there can be no progress.
Nihilism is virtually synonymous with scepticism. There are two main branches: social or existential nihilism, and political nihilism. Let’s start with the existential variety. It’s passive, influenced by eastern philosophy and mysticism, and concerns itself primarily with isolation, human suffering and the futility and hopelessness of existence. It’s bloody depressing. Most people, when you mention nihilism, will think this is what you mean. In the face of all the meaninglessness and randomness, the only coping mechanism is detachment – just stop giving a shit. Don’t do anything for anyone, don’t bother with worthy causes, just don’t care, because ultimately it’s a waste of time.
Now, don’t confuse existential nihilism with depression, though that certainly follows on from it a lot of the time. Personally I’m inclined toward depression when I’m feeling worthless. When I ask someone out or let them know I’m interested and they say “Fuck no, I need space, I’m not ready for a relationship just now, you’re sweet and everything, let’s just be friends, STOP STALKING ME!!!”, I usually take it to me mean that I’m not tall enough, attractive enough, smart enough etc, and I inevitably begin saying to myself: “What’s the point in trying anyway, I may as well stay in my room, give up my hopes and get used to being by myself.” But kids, that’s not quite full blown existential nihilism, because I’m not saying that there’s no point in anyone trying to get laid, only that there’s no point in me trying. Important difference. Even at my most whiny and self-loathing, I would still agree that most people can and should try to find happiness in the whole love and romance thingy.
Political nihilism, the other main branch of nihilism, is active, revolutionary and at once destructive and creative. It’s about social structures and authority. Political nihilism states that things are in such a bad state that the only real option left to us is to smash them up, and whether or not we can rebuild we will at least have done some good. Being a political nihilist is about being in the here and now... rejecting all religious and philosophical debate and all the metaphysical circular reasoning that it ultimately leads to. It’s about challenging all the assumptions we base our values on, even equality and justice. There’s no future goal that we’re aiming for, no reformed society that’s more tolerant or diverse or equitable or prosperous, or at least no goal that’s more important than the present. It’s about realising there’s no life but this one, and making the most of it. It’s about taking responsibility..... if there’s no higher power then your success or failure is up to you, and you alone. Another nihilism quote I found sums it up nicely... “Each human life has the potential, but unless one strives to be a god, they are only a worm.” We can do anything... it’s up to us whether we repeat the patterns of our forbears, killing and subjugating each other for material gain and dominance and letting our masters profit at our expense, or whether we control our lives and reap the benefits for ourselves.
It’s true that nihilism, like anarchism, is usually equated with violence and terrorism, and there’s certainly historical justification. Nihilists generally reckon that violence is not inherent in their philosophies, but I’m inclined to think that if nihilism is your philosophy you’re more likely to be aggressive. Nihilists say there is nothing above man, there is no objective moral, ethical reality, but is that really the case? The argument can be made that we carry our moral absolutes with us, encoded into our brains. I think it’s genetic, we’ve survived as a species because we know instinctively how to interact with each other. We’re a social species, we have survived because we can cooperate, and we know, each of us, how to do this, how to avoid conflict. Something in our brains, other than fear of repercussions, tells us a behaviour is wrong. Why else, for instance, would all these religions around the world have come up with such basic moral tenets as don’t kill each other? Don’t torture people for fun?? And remember to put the trash out???
Just because there’s no ultimate point to anything, and even though nothing I actually accomplish is going to last forever, that doesn’t mean there’s no sense in doing it anyway, does it? In fact, doesn’t that make human endeavour a more precious and amazing thing? Think about it, out of all the randomness, out of all the meaninglessness, we are able to create something that has meaning for ourselves and others. That meaning might be quite arbitrary, we each might see the same thing quite differently, but isn’t that kind of beautiful in itself? There might not be any reason, in the big scheme of things, for me to get out there and make a noise about discrimination, pollution or the suffering of others, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. It will mean something to me, I’ll be taking control, making something out of the nothingness, making the world what I want it to be. And maybe, just maybe, someone else will see the world the way I do.
And that’s meaning enough for me.
Danny Rudd
Monday, August 20, 2007
Queer by Choice
A collection of quotes taken from :
"Queer by choice: Lesbians, gay men, and the politics of identity" Whisman, Vera (1996) Routledge, New York
Edward Porter - 'My friends say "you're eithere straight or gay." And I say that's not true. I am not, twenty four hours a day, a sexually oriented person. It's at those times when I am going to be sexual, it is homosexual. The only time I'm gay is basically when I have a relationship with someone.'
Vera Whisman - 'So you might even say that relationships are gay, not that people are gay.'
Edward Porter - 'Oh, I like that.'
Mary Behnke (p34) - 'We don't even know what it would be like to choose to be heterosexual, almost, in this society. Because what you've seen on television and in the ads, and on and on, ad infinitum from moment one, and you know, when the first thing ever said about you is "It's a boy" or "It's a girl," you're being shuttled into that traditional gender role. I think it would be nice if change could be made so that all people could be fully human and heterosexuality could be a choice.'
Henry Yount (p34-35) - I think in a hundred years from now, homosexuals will have provided a means for a healthy heterosexuality. Heterosexuals never make a choice. There is no choice, that's the norm. So it's as bad for them as it is for homosexuals. Heterosexuals are left in this helpless position also, of "Well, that's the way it is. That's what I'm supposed to do, that's how I', supposed to behave." And that's not healthy. The route of being attracted to someone because they have the opposite plumbing is just a lie. I'm not heterophobic, but I just look forward to a time when it's a healthy choice, and it's made for good rational reasons, which is that you want to be involved with this person, whatever their plumbing is.'
Malcolm Wilson (p24) -I know that people do [choose to be gay]. I have friends who have. I didn't used to before, but now I sort of feel that I can accept the idea that one could turn gay. Which I guess means that one could turn heterosexual, I suppose. I mean, on some of these talk shows you always see at least one person who will say "I used to be gay and now I saw that light." What is going on? You start to think, well, is it really possible for the person to have *turned* heterosexual?'
Sam Broome (p21) - 'I think calling yourself bisexual is the purest form of narcissism. It's like, "If it has an orifice, I'm going to use it."
On Stonewall (p17) - 'The reason so few of us are bisexual is because society made such a big stink about homosexuality that we got forced into seeing ourselves as either straight or non-straight... We'll be gay until everyone has forgotten it's an issue. Then we'll begin to be complete.' (Wittman 1992, orig. 1970:331)
"Queer by choice: Lesbians, gay men, and the politics of identity" Whisman, Vera (1996) Routledge, New York
Edward Porter - 'My friends say "you're eithere straight or gay." And I say that's not true. I am not, twenty four hours a day, a sexually oriented person. It's at those times when I am going to be sexual, it is homosexual. The only time I'm gay is basically when I have a relationship with someone.'
Vera Whisman - 'So you might even say that relationships are gay, not that people are gay.'
Edward Porter - 'Oh, I like that.'
Mary Behnke (p34) - 'We don't even know what it would be like to choose to be heterosexual, almost, in this society. Because what you've seen on television and in the ads, and on and on, ad infinitum from moment one, and you know, when the first thing ever said about you is "It's a boy" or "It's a girl," you're being shuttled into that traditional gender role. I think it would be nice if change could be made so that all people could be fully human and heterosexuality could be a choice.'
Henry Yount (p34-35) - I think in a hundred years from now, homosexuals will have provided a means for a healthy heterosexuality. Heterosexuals never make a choice. There is no choice, that's the norm. So it's as bad for them as it is for homosexuals. Heterosexuals are left in this helpless position also, of "Well, that's the way it is. That's what I'm supposed to do, that's how I', supposed to behave." And that's not healthy. The route of being attracted to someone because they have the opposite plumbing is just a lie. I'm not heterophobic, but I just look forward to a time when it's a healthy choice, and it's made for good rational reasons, which is that you want to be involved with this person, whatever their plumbing is.'
Malcolm Wilson (p24) -I know that people do [choose to be gay]. I have friends who have. I didn't used to before, but now I sort of feel that I can accept the idea that one could turn gay. Which I guess means that one could turn heterosexual, I suppose. I mean, on some of these talk shows you always see at least one person who will say "I used to be gay and now I saw that light." What is going on? You start to think, well, is it really possible for the person to have *turned* heterosexual?'
Sam Broome (p21) - 'I think calling yourself bisexual is the purest form of narcissism. It's like, "If it has an orifice, I'm going to use it."
On Stonewall (p17) - 'The reason so few of us are bisexual is because society made such a big stink about homosexuality that we got forced into seeing ourselves as either straight or non-straight... We'll be gay until everyone has forgotten it's an issue. Then we'll begin to be complete.' (Wittman 1992, orig. 1970:331)
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