Regrets

I'm actually writing this post on November 17th 2009, my anniversary, a day of reflection and contemplation on my life.

Looking back on 2002 seven years later, I'm struck by how shallow and self-centred my diary entries of the time were, how oblivious I was to the feelings of others, and how utterly clueless I was about relationships and sex. I treated Bryce appallingly in '02, he had been my best friend for a couple of years and I casually discarded him in order to rush into one unsuitable relationship after another.

All that Christian virtue of mine, where's the evidence? I was inconsiderate, selfish and vain, I avoided conflict and in so doing I didn't treat people who had been good to me with the respect they deserved. Perhaps I got what I deserved in Aaron.

I would do anything to go back and change my behaviour that year, but as one of my diary quotes from the time wisely says, "Sometimes more is learned from being wrong, rather than right." Another diary quote says "A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory."

Bryce, Brent, if you're out there, I'm really, truly sorry.