Why Danny H8s teh Gay

My gay boyfriend recently asked me, half-jokingly, how I reconcile my utter rejection of ‘gay’ identity with the fact that I’m in a relationship with him. This article won’t make me popular but I’ll give my response here anyway, as I was (lovingly) cut off when I got into it.

Where to start??

I just hate the binary model of sexuality that ‘gay’ identity reinforces. We see it everywhere, in the papers, on TV, in films and books and public debates: you’re either straight or you’re gay. And it’s not just that the mainstream isn’t aware of the alternatives, the gay media itself promotes this simplistic and offensive view. I mean, my god, Ari Benderski of Gay.com even went so far recently as to state that male bisexuality cannot exist! I’m living proof to the contrary, as are a number of my friends.

The presentation of ‘gay’ as the alternative to heterosexuality in public discourse about sexuality obscures differences within the gay community as much as it erases those non-heterosexuals who don’t use the gay label. Andrew Sullivan, a regular contributor to The Advocate magazine in the States, wrote in his highly influential book Virtually Normal that gay people are just that; that the only difference between a gay couple and a straight couple is the sex of the partners involved, and therefore that gays should be accorded the same rights as straights. Now, this call for equality is certainly admirable, but his statement glosses over the sometimes substantial differences that exist, not only between straight and gay people, but between gays.

Gay identity has been hijacked by the interests of white, middle-class men, their concerns superseding those of gay men of colour, working and lower class men, women of all varieties and those queer people who are somewhere in-between. Capitalist interests have invaded and permeated gay media, dictating tastes in everything from furniture to clothing to the physical attributes of one’s chosen partner. I guarantee you Miley and Britney aren’t throwing their weight behind gay marriage for any reason other than because they can make a fair bit of money from supporting the ‘mos.

There are decidedly fascist undertones in the gay media’s presentation of gay identity, you can argue all you want that it’s because gay men have an inherent predisposition toward ‘beauty’ but I utterly reject this – it’s ideology. Producers of luxury commodities realised a decade or so ago that gay, middle-class white men constituted a largely untapped market with proportionately greater disposable income to devote to luxuries, and they have targeted this group aggressively ever since, transforming ‘gay’ from a sexual identity into a niche consumer lifestyle. Also, the suggestion that gays have an inclination toward beauty (besides being demonstrably false – there are some pretty tasteless gay guys out there) essentially implies that what is presented in gay media is more beautiful than any alternative. And what images dominate gay media? Able-bodied, middle-class white men. An attractive man, as mandated by the gay press, looks a lot like the Aryan man idealised by the Nazis.

Politically, the gay rights movement is predicated on the assumption of a genetic basis for exclusive homosexuality, refusing to acknowledge the socially constructed aspects of sexual identity. It’s founded on the feeble apology “I was born this way, I can’t help it.” There’s SO much to take issue with here. For a start, this supplicant stance belittles the very sexuality it represents. You’re not going to get anyone to treat you as an equal if by your argument and tone you’re telling them that you’re not. Furthermore, if gay identity as we know it in the western world is encoded in genes, what are we to make of pan- and bisexuals? Are their gay genes somehow faulty? Or are there bi genes too? How about S&M genes? (See where this is going?). Gay ideologues refuse to acknowledge that it is in fact possible to be ‘post’ or ‘ex’ gay, ironic really, they get pretty angry when other people are telling them what their own sexuality is, yet they cast blanket aspersions about the sexualities of others. Consider also that the studies that ‘confirm’ a genetic basis for homosexuality completely ignore lesbianism, and what you have is not scientific study but the furthering of a political agenda.

To secure for themselves the privileges accorded to heterosexuals gay advocates have ignored the evidence of alternative trans- and homosexualities of other cultures, and rewritten the same-gender relationships of history in support of their claims. Close, platonic male-male friendships such as that of the Bible’s David and Jonathan and that of Achilles and Patroclus from classical Greek literature are ret-conned as gay relationships, and this aggressive piracy of heterosexual male role-models discourages these kind of ennobling friendships between straight men, arguably causing much of the dysfunction in many contemporary male-male and male-female relationships**.

The part that really fucks me off is that the public endorsement of the binary sexual model secures rights and recognition for the most politically and economically powerful group in the queer community, who then abandon all those that mainstream society deems less acceptable, most notably the transgendered and intersexed, and to a lesser extent the bisexual and asexual. The gay rights movement and media give lip-service to diversity while it is politically expedient for them to do so until it is not, and then they simply erase us from the debate. Gay rights activists tend to forget that recognition of their rights was first won at Stonewall, not by themselves, but by the transgender community.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying I don’t like gay people, and I’m not saying that identifying as gay is inherently bad. By all means, use the word if you feel it best represents your sexuality, but be aware that it is loaded with ideology and its use has very real implications for those queer people who don’t so easily fit into the binary model of sexuality. If you’re going to be gay, be a good gay, own it, be proud of it, and don’t be manipulated by the-powers-that-be. Make it yours. Most importantly, don’t forget to look out for your queer brothers and sisters, ‘cos you sure as hell didn’t win your rights by yourself.

DannyR

Who's the Queerest Of Them All? -- Deviant, Chaff 7 2009

It used to be that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people only made it into TV shows as freaks and perverts. We were stuck in the hell that is daytime and late-night talk-shows like Ricki Lake and Jerry Springer, put on display as immoral deviants, predators, home-wreckers. In other programming we were invisible except to be pitied, feared or laughed at. But something’s changed, these days you can’t turn on the TV without seeing a couple of token Queers (unless you’re a Star Trek fan – 40 years homo-free and counting!!). It’s even made it into Coronation Street. My god, my mum is avidly watching gay romance on The Street. But it’s not always a good thing. Just how are we being portrayed, and by which shows?? Of course I can’t cover everything here, but even a brief survey is revealing.

We do pretty well in comedy. Perhaps the best illustration of this new mainstream acceptance of gays and lesbians is the rising star of Ellen Degeneres. She made history with her show Ellen, when her character (and she herself in real-life) came out. Of course the show was axed not long after but she’s back with a talk-show that rivals Oprah in popularity, and she was even chosen to host the 79th Academy Awards in 2007. Seems everyone loves Ellen now. And let’s not forget Will & Grace, the first show in history to have a gay male lead. The show was popular from the outset, though probably more for stereotypically flamboyant and bitchy supporting characters Jack and Karen than for the title characters. It’s like the mainstream likes us best when we’re not just gay, but really gay. Will was played by a straight guy, too. Still, a big step towards equality.

AfterElton.com recently named Scrubs the “gayest show on television,” but I have to disagree, it doesn’t have any lesbian or gay characters, just the sexually ambiguous ‘The Todd’ and the ‘bromance’ between straight male leads Turk and JD. In my mind, Scrubs is outshone by the much gayer Ugly Betty, which has hot trannie chick Alex in one of the main emotional story-arcs, as well as Betty’s camp little nephew Justin, and the hilariously bitchy, obviously gay Marc. Then there’s The Sarah Silverman Program, featuring lazy, scruffy Brian and Steve, two sloppy, overweight Ginga stoners who sit at home playing computer games all day, showing that not all gays are prissy queens, that we can be just as ordinary and slovenly as anyone else.

Family Guy often shows main character Peter as a bit camp, and occasionally hints that evil baby Stewie is gay, but it’s all for giggles and neither is actually a homo according to show creators, so it’s another one where there’s no regular Queer character. The Simpsons is (a bit) better: closet homo Waylon Smithers has been a firm fixture in the cast from the show’s earliest days, Marge’s sister Patty came out as a lesbian and married her girlfriend, and the show once devoted an entire episode to the stupidity of ‘Homer’s Phobia’ toward obviously gay John (winning the show an Emmy), but after that episode John was never seen again.

I would argue that South Park is actually more gay-friendly than The Simpsons and Family Guy, despite its frequent use of the words ‘gay’ and ‘faggot’ as insults. Sure, it’s over-the-top, obnoxious and crude, but South Park is like that to everyone and everything, it’s an equal-opportunity mud-slinger, so it’s actually a more inclusive show than most. And it’s jam-packed with Queers. Cartman’s mother is a hermaphrodite. Saddam Hussein and Satan are lovers. Big Gay Al and Mister Slave get married, and the boys’ teacher Mr. Garrison becomes Ms. Garrison, experiments with lesbianism and switches back to being a man. Butters is sent to Bi-Curious camp to be ‘cured,’ and ends up showing that obsessing over other people’s sexuality actually causes them more confusion and harm than just leaving them alone. South Park rocks.

And of course British comedy has always been full of gay jokes, in fact I can’t think
of a single exception. Probably the gayest of the lot is Little Britain, for a start most of the women are actually men in drag, then there’s Daffyd, the ‘Only Gay In The Village,’ the Prime Minister’s love-sick aide Sebastian, a bickering divorced couple who are actually both gay, closet-homo and Minister of Parliament Norman Fry, and ‘Emily,’ she of the Victorian frocks and constant protests of “I’m a Lady!” All ridiculously stereotypical, but the show’s success has put Queer people firmly in the limelight.

So comedy’s crowded with Queers. Turning to action and sci-fi, though, we find a very different story. If you look at big syndicated shows like Lost, 24, Heroes, Stargate, and the like, you’ll find that LGBT people are either completely absent/invisible or, overwhelmingly, weak and/or evil. Take Lost. Here’s a show with a huge cast that ticks practically every demographic box, and yet there is not one gay, lesbian, transgendered or bisexual character. Or how about 24, where homosexuality either gets you killed or directly results in the U.S. being attacked by terrorists? In fact the only exception I can think of here is Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood, which has bisexual protagonist Captain Jack and pretty much everyone on the show snogging or screwing someone of the same gender at one point or another.

We do (somewhat) better in drama, in at least being visible. ER had a number of lesbian stories over the years but to no one’s great surprise they involved little actual romance or sexuality, and when they did it always ended in bitter disappointments and loneliness. Six Feet Under and Brothers and Sisters also feature gay people and their romantic and sexual lives but again these are shown to be dysfunctional and basically unfulfilling. Similarly, British soaps like Emmerdale and EastEnders have had gay characters for years, but of course they’re always miserable or shocking stories, because in drama and soap-land, no one gets to be happy for long. It’s kind of the whole point. For example, Coronation Street made young Todd’s homosexuality directly responsible for his girlfriend’s miscarriage. Coro’s kind of made up for it though with the first transsexual character in a British soap, Hayley, who is one of the show’s more likeable characters, and now uber-gay Sean, a regular character with a hunky boyfriend. So not all bad there.

Our own Shortland Street has featured gay characters and storylines since it’s beginning, but I’m sorry to say it hasn’t exactly painted a rosy picture. Gay males are inevitably screwed up and go out of their way to hurt people or are killed off pretty quickly. The girls don’t fare much better – they last longer, but it seems they always end up murdering somebody. And where are the transsexuals, the fa’afafine and takataapui people? Still, we do have Gerald, Shorty’s femmy asexual receptionist, and writers did make a brief attempt to play out the implications of this identity for his life and relationships. They could probably try harder though.

It’s nice to see more Queer people on the Telly, but it’s be nice to see more of them in serious lead roles that address their issues without getting too morbid, or that show them defeating the bad guy instead of being the bad guy. I guess for now I’ll just have to stick to animated shorts like Rick and Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple In The World, or watch Queer as Folk on dvd over and over. Or I could take up watching Coro with my mum.

DannyR

Assume Nothing -- Deviant 5, CHAFF, 2009

Last year I had the privilege of attending the Human Rights Commission’s transgender exhibition and seminars at The New Dowse gallery in Lower Hutt. The exhibition is built around Rebecca Swan’s groundbreaking Assume Nothing, a beautiful photographic book that focuses on Kiwi transgender, intersex, transvestite, fa’afafine and takataapui people. Her work is innovative and daring, but shows a real sensitivity to and respect for the issues faced by trans-folk in Aotearoa. I was deeply, deeply moved by her work, and the workshops and seminars were fantastic.

Some of the photographs are in traditional portrait style, but there’s a lot of variety. Swan sometimes splits a portrait down the middle to show a transvestite person in both male and female garb or makeup, other times she uses a series of individual shots to show a drag artist’s progression from one persona to another. There are tasteful nude photographs, which answer all those awkward questions a lot of us have about what an intersex person’s plumbing looks like, but still convey the sense of the individual as a whole person rather than just an ensemble of genital bits and pieces, a medical oddity or freak. Some of the works are in black and white, others in bold colour. The real beauty of the collection is that Swan’s photography shows trans-folk as strong human beings with unique life histories and perspectives, real people with individual stories and experiences.

The seminars are an opportunity for the public to interact with some of the people who have put themselves forward in Swan’s work, to hear about their struggles and triumphs first-hand, to learn more about how our society has discriminated against transgender people in the past, how it continues to do so now, and how we’re changing that. I met some really inspiring people from all sorts of different backgrounds, and got answers to some of the questions I’d always had but had been too embarrassed to ask. Ultimately, I came away with a deep admiration and respect for some incredible people, people brave enough to be who they truly are in the face of scorn and rejection from their families, friends and society at large.

The great news is that both the exhibition and the workshops held by the HRC are coming to Palmerston North this year, Te Manawa is hosting the exhibition from the 28th of February until the 7th of June, and the workshops will be held on the 14th, 18th and 19th of March. You don’t have to identify as trans to benefit from these workshops, either. I really recommend you get yourselves along if you can – they’re informative and fun, and you’ll learn a whole lot, I guarantee it.

DannyR

(This piece was accompanied by a brief summary of some Do's and Don't's from another person's work, below)

Trans Etiquette 101

Micah Bazant, TimTum: A Trans Jew Zine

DON’T freak out if you don’t recognise someone’s gender or age, or get it wrong. Apologise (once is enough), and make sure you get it right next time.

DON’T interrogate them about their trans status.

DON’T assume you have the right to any medical or anatomical information about their body or genitals, it’s none of your friggin’ business unless they decide to share that with you.

DON’T EVER share the information that someone you know is trans or intersex, it can be humiliating or even dangerous for that person if you do so. A lot of trans people just want to get on with their lives without people knowing, and besides, ‘Outing’ someone for anything is a pretty shitty thing to do – they have the right to do it themselves if they choose to.

DON’T ask what their given, or ‘real’ name was. This is extremely rude.

DON’T assume you know the details of their transition, they may not be transitioning at all, or might choose to have some operations and not others. Again, none of your business.

DON’T ask if they’re sure about it, or remind them that it’s permanent or anything like that. Most trans people have already done a lot of soul-searching to get to where they are.

DON’T make this all about you, it might feel weird, maybe you’ve never had a trans friend or whatever, but however uncomfortable you’re feeling rest assured living as a trans person is a million times harder.


DO use the names and personal pronouns they prefer.

DO ask if you're not sure how someone prefers to be addressed.

DO take them at face value, let them be who they are now. Leave the past and the future alone.

DO listen if your trans friend has something they want to share about their experiences with you – it’s an enormous privilege, and needs to be respected.

DO educate yourself about trans life, watch films (TransAmerica and Boys Don’t Cry are both fantastic), read books, watch TV shows (Ugly Betty is pretty good), look it up on the net (try http://www.agender.org.nz/ ) – there are plenty of great resources out there, it’ll help you put yourself in your trans friend’s shoes.

And most importantly,

DO treat each trans person as an individual – we’re all unique and not one of us is the same as anyone else.

One Of Us! One Of Us!! -- Deviant 2, CHAFF, 2009

So you’re new to Massey, new to Palmytron, new to flatting and washing your own underwear and having your eftpos card decline when you go to buy 50c noodles at the supermarket. And you’re a homo.

Maybe you’ve only just worked it out, or maybe you’ve suspected for years that something was different about you, in between sneaking a look at Cosmo at the newsstand and turning tricks after midnight at the local public toilets. Whatever. Now you find yourself asking, just what is there to do in Palmerston North when you’re young, broke and lesbian/gay/bi/trans/etc?? Are you, in fact, the Only Gay in the Village??

Fear not, assorted fruits!! Deviant, your friendly neighbourhood Queer* page, is here to tell you all about the sheer fabulousity that is Palmy’s LGBT scene. Are you strapped in back there? Good, now sit back and enjoy the ride.

First stop on the tour, of course, is UniQ (pronounced yoo-nee-cue), Massey’s own Queer student social/support group. We meet on Tuesdays in town at our secret headquarters and work to implement our dastardly Gay Agenda (more on that later), sacrificing kittens to our Dark Lord and plotting to overthrow the government and destroy families. Also, we have cookies. If you’re interested, drop us a line at the email address in the side-bar and we’ll add you to the email list to be kept in the loop, or pop up to MUSA and ask – the staff are friendly and helpful and confidentiality is assured. We also bring you Deviant every week, so make sure you pick up a copy of CHAFF to see what we’re up to.

Then there’s the Manawatu Lesbian and Gay Rights Association (MaLGRA), our awesome local volunteer-run organisation that serves the LGBT community for the district. This is important, so listen up. MaLGRA provides some really great services and hosts some great events throughout the year. Let’s run through them, shall we??

Probably the main one you’ll be interested in is Club Q, our sooper-dooper Queer bar and nightclub down the end of Jersey Lane in town. It’s open Friday and Saturday nights from 10pm, and is a great place to meet people, get plastered for cheap and make eyes at hot guys/girls/whatever without getting your block knocked off. It is the place to be seen, darlink. There is a door-charge, but it’s only a few dollars and is more than made up for by the good music, friendly and safe atmosphere inside and convenience to buses and late-night pie-shops.

Don’t just show up though, because Club Q is run on a Clubs License you need to be a member, or the guest of a member, to enter. There are a bunch of membership options, the cheapest of which is $5 which is more than good enough, and someone who is already a member needs to vouch for you. This sounds like a hassle, but it’s actually a really good thing, it ensures your safety because let’s face it, there are still plenty of homophobic morons out there who feel threatened by anyone of the same sex thinking they’re cute and will smack a homo over for looking at them. But it does mean if you don’t know anyone who’s a member, you’re screwed, and not in a fun way. If you’re in that boat, come along to UniQ, get to know some of the gang, and voila! Problem solved.

MaLGRA also runs a couple of support groups, there’s a Lesbian/Bi women’s night at the club rooms on Wednesdays and a Gay/Bi men’s evening on Thursdays, same place. These groups hang out, go to movies, cafes, and shows, and are great if you want something to distract you from that assignment that’s due Friday. MaLGRA also runs a group for Queer kids in schools, Closet Space, but I’m guessing if you’re reading this you’re too old to go to that. However, if you think you might want to help out occasionally or get involved as a co-ordinator, enquire at UniQ or up at the Club and someone will have a talk with you about it.

MalGRA also puts on some really cool shows and things at Club Q some weekends, and they’re always looking for people to get involved as dancers/drag artistes/DJs etc... keep an eye on Deviant through the year for upcoming events and reviews.

There’s a social cricket match that happens every two or three weeks while the weather is good, it’s usually Lesbians vs Homos but it’s pretty relaxed so anybody can join in, and sometimes the boys actually win!! If sports aren’t your thing, just showing up to watch the drag queens run in heels is always worth a giggle.

And of course there are plenty of things to do that aren’t specifically LGBT-themed but which attract the gays like ants to the delicious Goody-Gumdrops ice cream I dropped on the ground when that bully knocked it from my nancy homo hand just now. Treat yourself to a decent haircut in town occasionally, or chat up the male shop assistants in clothing stores. Try local performing arts groups like the Massey drama club or the Fire Club, attend a poetry evening, check out what’s happening in the local arts scene by popping into the town library and picking up a brochure, or there’s my favourite sure-fire way to spot homos – just hang out at the gym and observe as they pose, pout and preen.

Remember you don’t have to go it alone, there are plenty of people around to help out and to hang with, so make ’09 your year, get active, get involved, get freaky and have fun, ‘cos Palmy (and university generally) is what you make of it!!

*Queer is a reclaimed word that represents sexual and gender diversity, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, takataapui and fa’afafine identities, and we acknowledge that it is not the preferred term for everyone.

DannyR

Being Intersex -- Deviant, CHAFF 2007

Alice, from Holland, has Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS)
Alice has XY chromosomes, which is the norm for males, as opposed to XX for females. When she was 17, Alice went to the doctor to find out why she still hadn't got her first period. He sent her on to a hospital for a test. As the test was being administered, she saw the technician frown; he said that the machine didn't seem to be working, and they had better move to another room and try another machine. Again, there seemed to be something wrong.

The technician left the room to call a doctor. The doctor looked at the machine, frowned too, and then did an internal check up. What he found was nothing. In Alice's body, he found no womb, no uterus, no ovaries. Nothing. It was only then that Alice discovered she had AIS. Although she has XY chromosomes, being insensitive to testosterone, she developed in a female direction. Complete AIS means that the person will look absolutely female from the outside. However AIS is only one of about 75 different intersex conditions.

What is intersex?
Intersex people are born with external genitalia, internal reproductive organs, and/or endocrine system that are different from most other people. There is no single "intersex body"; it encompasses a wide variety of conditions that do not have anything in common except that they are deemed "abnormal" by the society. What makes intersex people similar is their experiences of medicalization, not biology. Intersex is not an identity. While some intersex people do reclaim it as part of their identity, it is not a freely chosen category of gender - it can only be reclaimed. Most intersex people identify as men or women, just like everybody else.

Are intersex conditions harmful?
In general, intersex conditions do not cause the person to feel sick or in pain. However, some intersex conditions are associated with serious health issues, which need to be treated medically. Surgically "correcting" the appearance of intersex genitals will not change these underlying medical needs.

How common are intersex conditions?
No one knows exactly how many children are born with intersex conditions because of the secrecy and deception surrounding it, and also because there are no concrete boundaries to the definition of "intersex." It is nonetheless estimated that about one in 2,000 children are born visibly intersex, prompting early intervention. It is estimated that approximately 30 babies are born each year in New Zealand with indeterminate sexual organs.

Can't they just do a test to find out babies' true sex?
Medicine cannot determine the baby's "true sex." For example, chromosomes do not necessarily dictate one's gender identity, as it is obvious from the fact that most people born with androgen insensitivity syndrome live as women despite their XY chromosomes. In other words: science can measure how large a clitoris is, but cannot conclude how large or small it needs to be. That is a social determination.

How do we know the correct gender of a child with an intersex condition?
In most cases the decision is made by parents and doctors when the child is an infant, based on their best prediction, and this is followed by repeated genital surgery, ongoing hormonal and psychological treatment, and socialisation in the assigned gender. The extent to which such intervention is necessary for the child's physical and mental health, or whether it is both physiologically and psychologically harmful, remains a contentious issue. It is however recommended that the child be assigned a gender, and allowed to determine for himself or herself once he or she is old enough to do so. Irreversible surgeries on infants should be avoided in order to give them the widest range of choices when they are older. Performing surgeries will not eliminate the possibility that our prediction is wrong.

What is the correct pronoun for intersex people?
Pronouns should not be based on the shape of one's genitalia, but on what the person prefers to be called. For children too young to communicate what her/his preference is, go with the gender assignment parents and doctor agreed on based on their best prediction. Do not call intersex children "it": that is dehumanizing.

Are there five sexes?
The notion of "five sexes" was popularized by Anne Fausto-Sterling's article "The Five Sexes: Why Male and Female Are Not Enough" published in 1993. In this largely tongue-in-cheek piece, she wrote that three subcategories among "intersex" should be considered as three additional sexes aside from male and female. Unfortunately, the "five sexes" theory does not help people with intersex conditions. Fausto-Sterling later wrote in "Sexing the Body" (2000) that she was "no longer advocating" these categories, "even tongue-in-cheek".

Are intersex people "third gender"?
Many people with intersex conditions identify solidly as a man or as a woman, like many non-intersex people. There are some who identify as a member of an alternative gender, like some non-intersex people. While everyone has a right to define his or her own identities, people with intersex conditions should not be expected to be gender-transgressive just because of their condition.

Is intersex part of the trans community?
While some people with intersex conditions also identify as trans, intersex people as a group have a unique set of needs and priorities beyond those shared with trans people. Too often, these unique needs are made invisible or secondary when "intersex" becomes a subcategory of "transgender". For example, people who discuss about intersex in the context of transgender often stress the risk of assigning a "wrong" gender as an argument against intersex genital mutilation, which overlooks the fact that intersex medical treatment is painful and traumatic whether or not one's gender identity happens to match her or his assigned gender. It is for this reason that intersex people prefer to have "intersex" spelled out explicitly rather than have it included in the "transgender" umbrella.

What is the difference between "hermaphrodite" and "intersex"?
In biology, "hermaphrodite" means an organism that has both male and female sets of reproductive organs (like snails and earthworms). In humans, there are no actual hermaphrodites in this sense, although doctors have called people with intersex conditions hermaphrodites because intersex bodies do not neatly conform to what doctors define as the "normal" male or female bodies. The word "hermaphrodite" is misleading, mythologizing, and stigmatizing. Although some intersex activists do reclaim and use this term to describe themselves, it is not an appropriate term to refer to intersex people in general. In short, snails are the hermaphrodites; humans are not. Also, please avoid using the word "intersexual" as a noun; it is preferable to say, "intersex people" or "people with intersex conditions/experiences."

“Gender is really outdated. You might say that we're very much wired as a society to believe that there's only 2 answers ... gender isn't just male or female. There's a plethora of options between, why do we have to stick with one or the other? It's not a yes/no binary question. It's like asking someone from Canada, "Do you live in Montreal or Quebec?" with absolutely no expectation of any other answer - it's completely ridiculous.”

DannyR, Trysha E'Layne Kaneko

Quadruple Whammy -- SHAG Week, Deviant, CHAFF 2007

Queer enough?

What’s queer? Who’s queer?

These days, we usually use the word to talk about the ‘non-straight’ people in society, the obvious non-conformists like transsexuals, lesbians, gay men and bisexuals among us. Most of us understand ‘queer’ to mean same-sex orientation to some degree or the physical transition from one sex to the other, and for most intents and purposes, it suits just fine.

But who are we leaving out?

There are lots of other people out there who don’t call themselves straight but aren’t covered by our four ‘normal’ queer categories. Can the term ‘queer’ encompass all these many varied identities and behaviours?

First off the mark, how about people who are intersex, that is born neither male nor female, or some combination of both? Well of course, we queer people say earnestly, yes, obviously they belong under this umbrella with us. But we don’t think about them much, do we? We don’t make really make room in our communities for them, because we’re actually highly invested in people having ‘the right bits’. Gay girls emphatically want girl’s bits to play with, and gay guys are NOT welcoming of anyone who looks male overall but has some other sort of plumbing. Gay guys are positively elitist when it comes to the size and shape of certain organs. We're more about genitals than perhaps even straight people are. If the bits we expect to find aren't there, or are somewhat different, we react with something like disgust.

What about people who consider themselves transgender, but have no intention of making any sort of physical transition? The woman who secretly considers herself innately male, for instance, but lives an otherwise regular life? Or how about the ultra feminine woman, complete with all the plumbing, who is genetically male?
Shall we consider the transvestite – a straight man or woman who enjoys taking on the opposite gender only some of the time, with no interest in actually making a permanent transition? We in the queer community jump to the assumption that these people are bisexual or gay, given our experience with drag queens and kings, but surprisingly enough the vast majority of transvestites are actually heterosexual men.

What of the conventional male-female couple who enjoy swapping sexual roles and behaviours in the sack, celebrating their dual genderedness? A man may have no attraction to other men, and yet enjoy pretending to be a woman in the sack, and this role-playing is not that uncommon in women either. Similarly, there are men out there who would be considered ‘straight’ by all standards, except for their enjoyment of their female partner penetrating them with a sex toy or digit, and there’s a lot of resistance and discrimination toward these men among the majority male population. Surely, that qualifies them for queer status?

What about the man or woman who knows himself or herself to have the capacity to relate sexually to both men and women, who lives a happy, conventional life with the wife or husband and kids, never actively pursuing sexual relationships with anyone of the same-sex? In essence, a non-practicing bisexual? Queer enough? Do they need to be identified as queer? Maybe not, if queerness is qualified by participation in a lifestyle or community involving other queer people. But if it is, what of the celibate gay man or woman, someone who does not pursue sexual or social relationships with anyone, yet happily identifies as homosexual?

Recently in New Zealand, the tiny asexual community is striving to make itself heard. These are people who may have romantic interests and sometimes even sexual relationships with spouses, yet do not experience any sort of sexual attraction. That’s a difficult idea for a lot of us to get our heads around, but they’re here, and they’ll be queer, if we let them. Why not?

What are we to make of the straight man that chooses to have sex with men for convenience or out of a rejection of women? That’s not acceptable practice in the wider community – so is it queer? Or how about heterosexual platonic lovers, those happy few who choose never to have sex with their loved one - not just until they are married, but NEVER? They won’t be harassed by the heterosexual population at large, very likely, but they’ll certainly be considered odd or somehow faulty. Should we welcome such couples under our big queer umbrella?

And then there’s heterosexual polygamists and the polyamorous… those people who either have multiple spouses or multiple romantic relationships (FYI they’re not the same thing). Does a woman with two husbands living together in one household, sharing her romantically, fiscally and physically, count as queer? What about a man with a wife and a girlfriend or two who all know about each other and are happy with the arrangement? That’s definitely not acceptable in our day and age, though there are the beginnings of the tiniest whispers of social change around these issues.

The point I’m trying to make is that there is a vast array of diverse sexual behaviour out there that is in conflict with traditional conceptions of what it is to be ‘straight,’ ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable.’ By altering our notions of what it is to be queer, and inviting all those sex, love and gender nonconformists to share with us a position of confident opposition to the mandated model of heterosexuality in our culture, we can free our society of the expectation that weighs so heavily on so many of us. That’s the ‘queer’ I want to be a part of: a movement that stands in opposition to repression and conformity, that seeks to liberate and enable all to express their love, sexuality and many gendered identities.

Danny Rudd


Wank, wank, wank…

Is it mere coincidence that the idea of ‘the homosexual’ as an entirely separate type of human being emerged in the same century and culture as did the invention of the photographic image and the moving picture, or did the birth of these technologies in fact help create ‘the homosexual’ as a category of human, by making graphic imagery of same-sex sexual behaviours more accessible, thereby allowing greater numbers of men to cement their sexuality?

The historically recent emergence of visual technologies such as photography, print and film has allowed for the mass production of graphic depictions of human sexual behaviour. Inevitably, amongst the masses of ‘straight’ pornography made available by these technologies, some of these images were of same-sex behaviours. Now, I’m not suggesting for a moment that exposure to homosexual imagery actually causes homosexual urges, as it’s obvious that a person can have same sex attractions without having ever laid eyes on gay porn. There must have been a ready market for homosexual porn for it to have got off the ground at all. And clearly, homosexual sex acts occur in societies where the graphic image is absent. My argument, rather, is that it is the repeated, deliberate exposure to the static or moving depiction of exclusively male-male sex, in connection with masturbation, that has allowed a greater number of men than ever before to cement a preference for the type of sexual conduct depicted by homosexual pornography.

Let me explain how this happens in a little more detail. Through looking at images that depict certain behaviours (say, rimming or fellatio) and masturbating in contemplation of those images, a man creates a mental and perhaps even neural association between the behaviours he observes and sexual pleasure. He is then more likely to repeat the act of masturbation in response to the stimulus, in an attempt to recreate the initial pleasurable experience, and the more often he does this, the stronger the association becomes, until he finds himself unable to ‘get off’ in response to any other stimulus. I would suggest that this masturbatory process might in fact be responsible for more than the small-scale adoption of specific sex acts, that it is in fact largely responsible for creating an exclusive preference for one gender over the other. And maybe this has made exclusive homosexuality more prevalent in our Western societies than it might otherwise be. Commercial demand prompts greater supply and all the networking that goes with it, and before long there are enough people to form a rudimentary community.

In other words, gayness as an identity is largely the product of the male obsession with whacking off while looking at dirty pictures. I could be wrong, but I think there’s pretty good evidence for this assertion. For instance, in those cultures without ready access to film and print, where homosexual behaviour among men has been observed or reported, there is arguably more fluidity in male sexuality: the men almost without fail go on to develop sexual relationships with women after an ‘apprenticeship’ with older men, or they maintain sexual relationships with both men and women throughout their adult lives. In such cultures, actual communities founded on same-sex sexual behaviour are unheard of. Even historically, in classical societies such as those of the Greeks and Romans, it was considered the norm for men who engaged in homosexual sex acts to marry heterosexually and engage in heterosexual coupling as well. It is also telling that gay women, who are on the whole less likely to expose themselves to pornography, commonly report more fluidity in their sexual identity and expression than do gay men.

It would be fascinating to conduct sociological and psychological studies into this much neglected area of human behaviour… of course, no such studies have been proposed by mostly male queer theorists, who have much invested politically in the notion of homosexuality as something innate and immutable. Yes, the conception of inborn homosexuality has paved the way for rights and recognition, but increasingly as gay and bisexual women’s voices are heard, the biological determinist position looks less tenable.

Danny Rudd


A Challenge…

A lot of men these days proudly declare themselves feminists, or talk about being in touch with their feminine side… but what does that actually mean? Isn’t that an acknowledgement that each of us has a spark of female inside us? Doesn’t that mean we’re all just the tiniest bit transgendered? Funny, then, that we sensitive new age guys don’t give ourselves girl’s names.

Say what?

That’s a bit extreme, I hear you say, surely? The very idea makes even the most sensitive, most new age-y guys squirm. But if we are really, truly pro-female and comfortable with our inner femininity, however slight, we shouldn’t have any trouble with it. If we do, we’re hypocrites.

I gave myself a girl’s name. At first I kept it to myself, and that was weird enough. I found it hard just thinking of a girl’s name I could comfortably call myself… until I realised I wouldn’t feel comfortable with any girl’s name, because while I’m pretty darn feminist, I have some deep-seated discomfort with the idea of people calling me a girl in a derogatory way. Society tells us subtly that it’s not acceptable, and we listen. But after trying fairly androgynous-sounding names like Danni [sic] and Tara, I pushed myself and picked something more feminine, precisely because it made me uncomfortable. Then when I let my friends know I wanted to try it on for a day, they made it pretty obvious they thought I was being stupid, I got the message loud and clear. As a guy, I’m not allowed to be a Sarah.

But for a girl to have a guy’s name, like Terri or Jo, or even a name derived from a male name, like Geraldine or Paula, is quite normal… do you see the double standard here? It’s ok for a girl to ‘aspire’ to manliness, not just in name but in things like confidence and comfort of clothing and so on, but for a guy to look like a girl… that’s just not on. That’s because as a society, we still stupidly think there’s something inferior about femaleness. And that’s what’s behind effeminate males and drag queens being harassed and male-to-female transgender people being called immoral or perverted.

THAT’S not on.

So come on guys, put yourselves to the test… give yourself a girl’s name, even for just a day, and see if it makes you think or feel any differently. What are you afraid of?

Danny Rudd


Poison Seed

I don’t know whether I should be relieved or horrified that a lot of young bisexual and gay men these days don’t know what the term ‘bug chasing’ means.
According to that veritable fount of knowledge, Wikipedia: bugchasing (or bug chasing) is a slang term for a subculture of gay men who desire, and actively pursue HIV infection. Bugchasers ‘chase the bug’ by seeking sexual partners who are HIV positive for the purpose of having unprotected sex and sero-converting; ‘giftgivers’ are HIV+ men who attempt to infect bugchasers with HIV.

That’s insane, right? Why would anyone actually want to contract HIV?

There’s a lot of debate about how prevalent this behaviour actually is. A widely discredited article in Rolling Stone a couple of years back suggested that up to 25% of people who contract HIV do so on purpose, while some researchers consider it little more than an internet fantasy. But it does exist.
People who consider themselves bugchasers want to take control of their sex lives and destiny… basically, they see HIV infection as inevitable and just want to get it out of the way. A lot of them think using condoms is unnatural and gets in the way of their sexual pleasure by reducing the sensitivity of their penis. The problem is that these guys don’t know what they’re getting themselves into. Medications are available now which, while not curing the disease, can prolong an infected person’s life and to some extent hide the more unpleasant aspects. And in the States, doctors prescribe steroids to HIV+ men to prevent muscle wasting, and as a result a lot of positive men are able to achieve the trim, muscular looks the rest of us aspire to and desire.
Coupled with this, there is an alarming recent trend in gay pornography to glamorise ‘bare-backing’ or unprotected anal sex. There are now HIV+ gay porn stars saying that their positive status allows them to indulge in unprotected orgiastic behaviour without fear of the consequences, because they’ve already got the worst thing they can get, and thanks to the medications, it’s not doing them any noticeable harm. One such porn star is Treasure Island Media’s Dawson, the hulkingly well-built poster boy for ‘carefree’ HIV+ sexuality. So the message is clear: you can look hotter and get more sex if you've got the bug.

Sounds great, right? Trouble is, while outwardly you might look attractive and able to have as much sex as you want with whomever, there’s a whole lot else going on that the glamour account of HIV isn’t letting you in on. All those medications cause really uncomfortable and sometimes crippling side effects, and they’re not foolproof. You could get another strain of HIV from unsafe sex that your current medication can’t protect you from, get sick quickly and die unpleasantly. Or if you live in a country where the drugs aren’t covered by insurance or welfare and you can’t afford them, you’re in for an excruciating, drawn out death, being ugly to boot, as opportunistic skin infections tarnish your good looks.

The bugchasers could know all this, but they don’t. Why? Well, partly they’re just sick of hearing all the warnings, it’s like the news: you get desensitised after a while. But more so, the gay community is deeply age-segregated: we younger guys just don’t get to know the older guys because we don’t want them hitting on us. We’re only interested in the hot boys, who mostly happen to be young, like ourselves. This is all perfectly natural, really, we’re a pretty conceited lot, but this segregation means that we don’t hear the stories the older guys could tell. And maybe we don’t want to: we’re young, this is supposed to be the time of our lives, we don’t want to think about death. But the truth is, the older guys saw their friends, lovers and sex partners dying all around them, they haven’t forgotten, and now we’re at risk and we’re not listening to the stories that might help us to take more responsibility for ourselves and each other.

The point of all this is that it really is desperately important for all you guys who are having receptive anal sex, whether straight, bi or gay, to protect yourselves by insisting your sex partner(s) use condoms. Don’t be fooled into thinking it doesn’t matter – because getting HIV infection will seriously fuck up your life. I have friends who are positive, and all the discrimination, shame, cramps, diarrhoea, vomiting, lesions and blindness aren’t worth it. Believe me.

Danny Rudd

The Second Coming Out -- Deviant, CHAFF 2007

Bisexuality is a difficult topic for psychologists, queer theorists, Christian conservatives and a whole lot of other people out there. It’s not about sexual orientation, as we understand heterosexual or homosexual orientation, rather, it defies the very concept of orientation, refusing to be pinned down, insisting that sexuality is fluid and boundless. It poses some of the most interesting and complex challenges for queer theorists and sexologists – so complex, in fact, that that these questions are very often ignored. The results of my own investigations in our campus library and in town were sadly unsurprising; there is a real dearth of material available on the subject. Unfortunately, this is pretty much the state of affairs around the world, so here I will endeavour to cast a little light on the topic.

We’re taught to see duality in almost everything in our lives: male and female, light and dark, hot and cold, moral and immoral, to name but a few, and our perspectives of sex are no different; we generally only think in terms of gay and straight. But human sexuality is a little more complex than that; you simply can’t squeeze the full range of human sexual feelings and behaviours into only two classifications. And so, it’s generally agreed that a minimum of three categories is needed to represent these varied attractions and activities: heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual.

Misinformation abounds on any topic that involves human sexuality. However, it seems to be particularly prevalent where homosexuality and bisexuality are concerned. Some common myths about bisexuality are:

Everybody is bisexual
WRONG!! Kinsey found that only a very small minority of adults identify themselves as bisexual on his 7 level rating scale. His team found that the vast majority of adults rate themselves as either “0” (purely heterosexual; attracted only to members of the opposite gender) or “6” (purely homosexual; attracted only to members of the same sex.) and that in truth, only about 2% of the adult population is bisexual (ratings 1 to 5). Of these, only a very small minority are attracted to both men and women equally and identify themselves with a “3” rating.

Nobody is bisexual
WRONG!! Christian conservatives and the gay and lesbian community have generally agreed on one thing over the years: that bisexuality doesn’t exist. It’s easier to come out as bi now, but typically gays and lesbians have regarded bisexuals as fellow homos who just won’t play ball and come fully out of the closet (I used to get this all the time), while our conservative religious friends have repeatedly and emphatically denied the ontological existence of any sexual identity other than straight.

Bisexuality is just a phase
For some it may be. For example, some gay girls and guys try to ‘pass’ or hide from society's homophobia by developing sexual relationships with people of the opposite sex. A few even go so far as marrying. These relationships aren’t satisfying and usually don’t last very long though; the individual remains a homosexual. My experience has actually been the other way around, I came out as gay from the get-go, when I’d finally dealt with my religious issues, and only later came to acknowledge my bisexuality. Still others know themselves to be bi from an early age, or experiment and decide it’s not for them.

Bisexuals are equally attracted to both genders
A common misconception is that to be a bisexual, you must be sexually attracted to men and women equally. This is definitely not true. In the Kinsey scale described above, a person who is equally attracted to both men and women is a "3." Kinsey and others have found many bisexuals who identify themselves as a 1, 2 (i.e. mainly attracted to members of the opposite gender), or a 4 or 5 (i.e. mainly attracted to members of the same gender). Many individuals, although attracted to both men and women, have a real preference. The thing I find most interesting, personally, is that these attractions aren’t immutably fixed, that different things about different people, at different times of our lives, can be appealing.

Bisexuals “...possesses a generally indiscriminate sexual desire toward persons of both sexes”
This is a quotation from America, the national Roman Catholic weekly. However, all adults, including those with a bisexual orientation are known to be attracted to only some persons and not to others. We all discriminate on the basis of age, physical attractiveness, body style, etc. My bisexuality doesn’t mean I’ll lust after just anybody.

Bisexuals are incapable of monogamy
This is perhaps the most prevalent assumption about bisexuality, and has caused me so much grief I gave up identifying as bi for a while; it just wasn’t worth the arguments. You tell your girlfriend or boyfriend you’re bi, they instantly assume you’re going to cheat on them. But many bisexuals maintain loving, exclusive relationships with one significant other over considerable time, God knows I have. Similarly, Johnny Straight-Boy might be attracted to a substantial percentage of the 1.5 billion of adult women in the world, and yet, he may be quite capable of committing himself to a single Jill. Be fair, eh?

Bisexuals are only satisfied if they have sexual partners of both genders
Wrong again. Bisexuals are attracted to both genders, but we don’t necessarily act on our feelings of attraction, and are quite capable of developing exclusive, stable relationships. The term bisexuality is descriptive of how people feel, not necessarily how they act: a person can feel attractions to both men and women, decide to remain celibate or only become involved in relationships with persons of a particular gender, and still be considered a bisexual by themselves and others.

Bisexuals alternate genders in their relationships
Some people actually think that if a bisexual person ends a relationship with a man, their next sexual partner will definitely be a woman -- or vice versa. WRONG!! Nobody plans who he or she will fall in love with, it just happens.

Bisexuals have the same problems as gays and lesbians
Not necessarily. True, bisexuals who admit to or act on an attraction to a person of the same sex run the same risk as gays and lesbians, of being victims of gay bashing, being discriminated against in hiring, being fired from their job or refused accommodation, even losing custody of their children. But there are many other factors to consider, for instance, a bisexual who keeps his or her attraction to the same sex a secret can pass in society as a heterosexual and not be at risk of homophobia.
Some openly bisexual individuals are actually subjected to prejudice from the lesbian/gay community. When gay and lesbian communities were first establishing themselves last century, bisexuals were actually considered traitors! These days, however, this animosity has virtually disappeared as more gay/lesbian groups have evolved to become gay/lesbian/bisexual groups.

If you’ve always felt a little untruthful calling yourself straight or if, like me, you put on the gay hat and found it didn’t quite fit, do some reading and open your eyes to yourself and all the strange, wonderful and perversely normal things you could be.
Two great books, if you can find them, are: Vice Versa: Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life by Marjorie Garber, and Queer Theories by Donald E. Hall. Don’t tie yourself up in knots about it, and remember, there are people around to help you out if it’s all new and scary to you. Try UniQ, or pop in and see a counsellor on campus.


DannyR

Sex Without The Visuals: Being blind and gay -- Deviant, CHAFF 2007

Being both blind and gay has given Yvon Provencher of Montreal a somewhat unique perspective on the world.

“One night I went to a club in the Village, and someone who worked there came up to me and said, ‘Do you realize where you are?’ And I said, ‘Yes.’ And he said, ‘You're in a gay bar.’ And I said, ‘I know.’ And he said, ‘So you want to be here?’ And I replied, ‘Yeah.’ Only at that point did the bar employee seem to get it.”

Sex is somewhat mysterious for all blind people, and even more so for people who are gay or lesbian and blind. Blind people are often not told about the mechanics of sex as teenagers, as there is an almost universal perception that people with disabilities are asexual, and as such many blind individuals reach adulthood without ever fully understanding even the basics. It’s not something that’s really spoken about in an informative, responsive way outside of sex-ed classes. When blind people do pipe up the courage and ask, and when even more unusually someone actually takes time to answer their questions, it’s inevitably explained to them as something that won’t happen for them, that exists for ‘normal’ people. But blind people experience the same urges and desires as sighted people, albeit slightly differently.

Imagine the frustration, and then imagine that frustration compounded by not being able even to find out by other means. There certainly isn’t much available Braille erotica out there (yes, I can hear the sniggers…) and a blind person can’t furtively browse the top shelves of the bookstore or newsstand. Blind individuals often have no idea that such things as phone sex lines or massage parlours exist. Add to this an awareness of homophobia, and an exploration of sexual identity becomes even more enigmatic for gay blind people. Coming out is frightening even for sighted gay and lesbian people.

When Robert Feinstein was a senior at college, he wanted to go to a meeting of the gay and lesbian student’s association on campus, but was afraid to ask for directions to where the meetings were taking place, because he feared the responses of fellow students to someone who was both blind and gay. Just as for sighted gay and lesbian people, adolescence and early adulthood often mean trying to hide in heterosexual relationships for blind queer people. Provencher says, ironically, his blind status has protected him from homophobic violence in the past. For years, he wore either a pink triangle or a rainbow symbol on his lapel. ‘Sometimes, there would be tense moments when people would see them and threaten me,’ he says. ‘Then they'd realize I was blind and back off. There's something in our society which says you shouldn't beat up disabled people, so that would put an end to it.’

So how do you do it? Most of us can’t even imagine sexual attraction without sight. ‘Once you turn off the lights,’ says Provencher, ‘there's little difference.’ Attraction exists without sight, sighted people just tend to forget that. The sound of a voice, the significant silences, the sense of proximity to another body, the scents, the idea of seduction or strength… sexual attraction is a many faceted thing. ‘It is different in a way, I guess,’ Provencher concedes. ‘The glance, the smile, there's something very visual about sex. That it's not there can be very disconcerting for some.’

Provencher's blindness does raise some obvious questions though, most specifically: how does a blind man cope among other gay men, who are so notoriously looks-obsessed? ‘Gay men are men. It's about being male. Men seem to be more visually oriented than women. I do have a different perspective and that's partly related to being blind. I'm not so much into physical appearance. But if I were sighted I'm sure I'd look at men for their bodies too. I realized at a certain point that how you look can affect how people interact with you. For me, clothes were just a matter of not being cold. All that colour coordination for me was very complicated. There was something very superficial about it all. After a time, I stopped fighting it as it was going to be there all the time whether I liked it or not.’

Robert Feinstein sees the gay and lesbian community as discriminatory toward blind people. ‘I remember my excitement when my guide dog and I set out for our first gay bar’ he reported in a Montreal magazine in 2000. ‘We got off the subway at Christopher Street, a street in the heart of Greenwich Village. I asked for directions to the bar, but once inside, I realized that this wasn't going to work… the noise level was incredible! I couldn't hear a thing. And because I couldn't see, I had no idea what was going on around me. I was basically rendered deaf and blind because of the noise level. I sat at the bar, and felt worse and worse as time went by. Nobody tried to talk to me. I finally got the courage to tap the person next to me, and to try to strike up a conversation. The guy was polite, but after talking with him a while, he told me he was with someone.

‘I realized that I had no way of knowing who was alone, who was with someone, and what was going on. I went to other bars on subsequent days, but… unfortunately, the same thing happened. I was shown to a seat, and there I stayed. Nobody came over to talk to me. I finally left and vowed I would never try to meet gay people in this way… I was feeling worse about being blind and being gay than I ever had in the past’. He notes a difference in attitudes towards those whose blindness is a complication of HIV and those who have been blind for life: ‘Many people with HIV suffer visual problems but are looked after within the gay community, and yet blind and vision-impaired people who have not become so from medical complications are often made to feel that they do not belong.’

Don’t read this and think it’s all woe and worry, however. This is not an article about disempowering gay and lesbian people who are blind; it’s not about pity or PC. This is about remembering that whether we can see or not, whether we can hear or not, whether we can walk or not, we are all human beings with the same needs, desires, wants, dreams and hopes, whatever our sexual orientation. Blindness holds up a mirror to society, and can teach us much about ourselves that those ‘privileged’ with sight are, ironically, unable to see, such as how we treat each other, what we take for granted, how we can do things in new ways and ultimately what it is to be human. An anonymous quote on BFLAG (Blind Friends of Lesbians and Gays)’s website says: ‘Someone once thanked God for making him blind so that his soul could see. I have come to believe that there is a lot of truth in that.’

DannyR