All Rise

By DannyR

All rise.
Court is now in session.
Thank you, let’s hear from the Prosecution.
Thank you, Your Honour, Jury Members,
And now, ladies and gentle-men
Are you all paying attention?
I present for your inspection
The proof of this man’s transgression.
You may all remember,
When last we were in session
We heard from the Defendant
The ludicrous suggestion
That the cause of his aggression
Was sexual repression,
Spousal rejection,
The want of real respect and
A dearth of affection.
Be not fooled, it is deception,
As a lie, it is Perfection,
It obscures the evidence and
Seems a suitable defence. But
I beg you to reject it,
Don’t be fooled by his expression!
For he may seem penitent and
Resigned to his correction,
But he is hardly repentant,
I argue it was his intention
All along to get arrested
To escape his wife’s revenge for
Hiding all her underwear and
Setting fire to her hair. If
It please you, you should send him
Not to jail but to his bedroom
Without police protection
Where his wife may ease her tension
With a suitable reception;
And inflict on him the sentence, I’d
Suggest she takes a hair-pin
And inserts it up his rectum –
Yes thank you, Counsel for the Prosecution
But I'll decide the restitution.
Of course sir, it was only a suggestion.
But I have a lot invested
In seeing that man there divested
Of his smug self-assurances,
You see sir, he is my ex and
I’ve a personal vendetta,
I’d love to see him get a
Public flogging or even better
Brand him with a scarlet letter –
Yes, thank you Counsel, but I’ve said that
I’ll be the one to choose the sentence. Your
History is not pertinent,
In fact it’s a Conflict of Interest and
I think I'll Hold you in Contempt –
Your Honour, please I beg you,
I really do respect you
I apologise and guess I’ll
Have to step down from the bench –
Now, now, I see you’ve learned your lesson,
Counsel, is your case presented?
Aye the Prosecution rests, sir.
Then I think we’ll take a break here and
Let’s all go for a beer. We’ll
Adjourn ‘til, say, eleven?
Good.
All rise.