Grade: D, or 3/10
Starring Odette Yustman, Cam Gigandet, Gary Oldman
I love a good horror flick. Sadly, they’re few and far between, and The Unborn is no exception.
Produced by Michael Bay of Transformers notoriety, and written by David S. Goyer, who was responsible for such brilliant scripts as Dark City and Batman Begins, this could have been an awesome movie. Not necessarily a smart one, but pretty freakin’ fantastic.
What’s it about? Well, in a nutshell, there’s this chick who sees dogs wearing masks, gets all upset and finds out she had a still-born dead twin that no one ever told her about. Said dead twin, it seems, is the vengeful spirit of a kid killed prematurely in WWII who had to get back into the world to fulfil its purpose, and who is now blaming his sister for his not being born and is out to torment her. Cue Jewish spiritual advisor, cue freaky exorcism. I thought it was all a bit convoluted in the theatre, and even now, I’m not entirely sure I got the gist.
The music was… bland. The lighting was… bland. The acting was… well, not entirely awful, but pretty mediocre overall. Odette Yustman, though WAAAY hot, has the emotional capacity of a can of cold tuna as Casey, the lead character. Cam Gigandet, the hunky vampire from Twilight, was here just the boring dependable boyfriend we’ve all seen in a thousand other horror flicks. Even the seriously awesome Mr Oldman, playing Casey’s rabbi, was a bit of a disappointment. This isn’t to say that these guys are bad actors, but the script doesn’t really give any of them the room to be interesting.
The whole thing is one cliché after another. This is how bad it is: I sat there counting the things I’d seen before in other, better horror movies… creepy child, doubting hot chick, obscure evil spirit, freakish stair-climb, tricycle, unexpected face in the mirror, etc etc etc. And then there are all the gaping plot holes. I think any film where you have time to sit there cataloguing plot deficiencies is, ultimately, a film not worth seeing. And boy, do you have time. The Unborn could have been half the length it is, and it might actually have been better. As it is, I found myself longing for the closing credits. Why didn’t I just walk out? Because I’m stingy. I paid my money, dammit, and if I’m going to be bored by a movie, I’m going to be bored witless.
I think you get the picture. DON’T go see this film. DON’T be tempted to part with your few remaining dollars when you walk past the cinema and see Odette Yustman’s enticing derriere staring out at you from the film’s poster. Just don’t.
- DannyR
Starring Odette Yustman, Cam Gigandet, Gary Oldman
I love a good horror flick. Sadly, they’re few and far between, and The Unborn is no exception.
Produced by Michael Bay of Transformers notoriety, and written by David S. Goyer, who was responsible for such brilliant scripts as Dark City and Batman Begins, this could have been an awesome movie. Not necessarily a smart one, but pretty freakin’ fantastic.
What’s it about? Well, in a nutshell, there’s this chick who sees dogs wearing masks, gets all upset and finds out she had a still-born dead twin that no one ever told her about. Said dead twin, it seems, is the vengeful spirit of a kid killed prematurely in WWII who had to get back into the world to fulfil its purpose, and who is now blaming his sister for his not being born and is out to torment her. Cue Jewish spiritual advisor, cue freaky exorcism. I thought it was all a bit convoluted in the theatre, and even now, I’m not entirely sure I got the gist.
The music was… bland. The lighting was… bland. The acting was… well, not entirely awful, but pretty mediocre overall. Odette Yustman, though WAAAY hot, has the emotional capacity of a can of cold tuna as Casey, the lead character. Cam Gigandet, the hunky vampire from Twilight, was here just the boring dependable boyfriend we’ve all seen in a thousand other horror flicks. Even the seriously awesome Mr Oldman, playing Casey’s rabbi, was a bit of a disappointment. This isn’t to say that these guys are bad actors, but the script doesn’t really give any of them the room to be interesting.
The whole thing is one cliché after another. This is how bad it is: I sat there counting the things I’d seen before in other, better horror movies… creepy child, doubting hot chick, obscure evil spirit, freakish stair-climb, tricycle, unexpected face in the mirror, etc etc etc. And then there are all the gaping plot holes. I think any film where you have time to sit there cataloguing plot deficiencies is, ultimately, a film not worth seeing. And boy, do you have time. The Unborn could have been half the length it is, and it might actually have been better. As it is, I found myself longing for the closing credits. Why didn’t I just walk out? Because I’m stingy. I paid my money, dammit, and if I’m going to be bored by a movie, I’m going to be bored witless.
I think you get the picture. DON’T go see this film. DON’T be tempted to part with your few remaining dollars when you walk past the cinema and see Odette Yustman’s enticing derriere staring out at you from the film’s poster. Just don’t.
- DannyR
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